Almost all the emotional suffering we carry has a common root. It's not a lack of strength, nor a lack of ability, nor laziness. It's resistance. Resistance to what changes, to what ends, to what is beyond our control. In other words, resistance to... impermanence.

Impermanence is not an abstract or overly philosophical concept for real life. On the contrary, it explains why we insist on patterns that no longer work, why we cling to old versions of ourselves, and why, even wanting to change, we often get stuck. Understanding impermanence is not just about understanding life… it's about learning to live with more lightness, clarity, and emotional maturity.

What is impermanence?

Impermanence is the principle that everything is in constant change. Therefore, nothing remains exactly the same from one moment to the next, be it thoughts, emotions, situations, relationships, phases of life, or even who we are.

In simple terms, impermanence means that:

• Emotions come and go;
• Situations change;
• Cycles come to an end;
• Identities are updated;
• Life is always in motion.

In other words, what seems definitive today may no longer exist in the same way tomorrow. And what seems unbearable today inevitably changes as well.

This understanding is one of the pillars of mindfulness, It is a tool of positive psychology and various modern approaches in neuroscience, precisely because it changes the way we deal with pain, fear, anxiety, and frustration.

“Impermanence is the principle that everything in life is in constant flux — thoughts, emotions, situations, and phases — and that resisting this natural flow is one of the main causes of emotional suffering.”

Impermanence is freedom.

At first glance, the idea that everything passes may seem uncomfortable. In this sense, some people interpret impermanence as something negative, almost fatalistic. However, when we look more deeply, the opposite happens: impermanence is liberating.

If everything changes, then:

• Pain is not eternal;
• Mistakes don't define who you are;
• A difficult time is not the end of the story;
• You are not condemned to repeat patterns forever.

Impermanence reminds us that life isn't broken when it changes; it's simply following its natural course. The problem isn't change. The problem is fighting against it.

“"Accepting impermanence reduces anxiety because it lessens the need to control the future, allowing the mind to respond to the present with more clarity, flexibility, and emotional balance."”

Why does the brain resist impermanence so much?

From a neuroscience perspective, our brain is programmed to seek predictability and security. limbic system, The brain, especially the amygdala, interprets the unknown as a potential threat. Therefore, even uncomfortable but familiar situations can seem "safer" than something new.

That's exactly where patterns like these emerge:

• to remain in relationships that no longer make sense;
• To persist in behaviors that cause suffering;
• procrastinate important changes;
• Maintaining limiting beliefs "just in case".

The brain prefers the familiar to the uncertain, even when the familiar is painful. In other words, resisting impermanence is not weakness, it's an automatic reflex. The problem arises when this resistance becomes a way of life.

Attachment: the true origin of emotional suffering.

Much of human suffering doesn't come from pain itself, but from attachment. Attachment to how things were, to how they should be, or to who we think we need to be in order to be accepted.

We cling to:

• old identities (“I’ve always been like this”);
• expectations (“this couldn’t have happened”);
• relationships that have already changed;
• idealized versions of the past;
• Unrealistic images of the future.

When reality changes—and it always does—internal conflict arises. Not because something went wrong, but because we try to freeze what is, by nature, fluid. Thus, accepting impermanence doesn't mean giving up on life, but ceasing to fight against it.

Impermanence and mindfulnessLiving in the present without fighting against reality.

THE mindfulness It trains precisely this skill: observing what arises and what passes, without judgment and without resistance. Above all, emotions are seen as temporary events, not as absolute truths about who we are.

The practice of mindfulness allows us to perceive something essential: thoughts come and go, emotions rise and fall, sensations change. But nothing remains the same for very long.

This awareness reduces anxiety because we no longer need to control everything, we don't fully identify with what we feel, and we learn to respond instead of reacting.

In this way, Impermanence ceases to be a theory and becomes direct experience.

Impermanence and NLP: updating outdated mental maps

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), there is a central assumption: the map is not the territory. In other words, our perception of reality is not reality itself, but a mental construct based on past experiences.

Thus, the problem arises when our mental maps become rigid. After all, beliefs that made sense at some point continue to be used in completely different contexts. Resisting impermanence, in this case, means insisting on old maps to navigate new territories.

Now, updating your mindset requires recognizing that you are not the same person you were years ago, as your life context has completely changed. Therefore, new responses are possible, and maintaining the same pattern doesn't guarantee your safety; it only leads to the repetition of attitudes and thoughts that can sabotage you.

Mental flexibility, in practice, is the acceptance of impermanence applied to real life.

Impermanence and neuroplasticity: your brain was made to change.

Neuroscience confirms what philosophy has been pointing out for centuries: the brain is plastic. In other words, it changes according to experiences, habits, emotions, and learning. Thus, nothing about it is permanent.

Neuroplasticity shows that emotional patterns can be transformed, just as limiting beliefs can be changed. reinterpreted And new behaviors can be learned. What's more, there's no age limit for change.

Therefore, change is not the exception. It's a biological rule. When we resist impermanence, we are not being true to our nature, we are going against it.

Resisting impermanence

When we try to keep everything under control, the emotional cost becomes apparent. Gradually, clear signs emerge:

• chronic anxiety;
• rumination mental;
• a feeling of stagnation;
• Constant fear of making mistakes;
• repeated cycles of self-sabotage;
• Emotional exhaustion.

Mental rigidity creates suffering not because life is hard, but because we try to make it static. Therefore, the more we fight against change, the more stuck we become.

How to apply the principle of impermanence in everyday life.

In practice, experiencing impermanence means accepting difficult emotions without identifying with them, as well as understanding that phases pass, whether good or bad. It's about allowing yourself to change your mind, closing cycles without guilt, and acting with more presence and less control.

However, this is not about living without commitment or responsibility. On the contrary. It's about acting consciously, knowing that life is dynamic and that you can adapt to it instead of trying to freeze it.

“When we understand that no internal state is permanent, we stop identifying with difficult emotions and open up space to reprogram beliefs, behaviors, and decisions with more awareness.”

Practical exercise of mindfulnessObserving Impermanence

Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Now, bring your attention to your breath. Observe the air going in and out. Then, notice any thoughts or emotions that arise. Don't try to change anything. Just note: "this is here now.".

Notice how this thought or emotion transforms, weakens, or gives way to another. Spend a few minutes simply observing this flow. At the end, open your eyes and realize: nothing has remained the same. This is impermanence happening in real time.

Conclusion: Flowing isn't about giving up, it's about maturing.

When we understand that everything passes, we begin to value the present moment more. In this sense, relationships gain depth, choices become more conscious, and time ceases to be an enemy. Impermanence reminds us that life doesn't demand control, it demands presence.

However, accepting impermanence is not about giving up on dreams. It is, above all, about letting go of the illusion of control. It's about stopping punishing yourself for changing, for feeling, for evolving. That is, when you understand that everything is transient, fear loses its power and clarity appears.

Therefore, going with the flow of life is not weakness. It's emotional intelligence.

FAQ – Questions and answers about impermanence

What does impermanence mean?

Impermanence is the principle that everything is in constant change, including emotions, thoughts, and life situations.

Is everything truly impermanent?

Yes. From a psychological and biological point of view, everything is in continuous transformation.

How can we accept impermanence without suffering?

Developing presence, mental flexibility, and reducing attachment to control, especially through mindfulness.

Is impermanence related to anxiety?

Yes. Anxiety arises when we try to control the future and resist change.

How does mindfulness help in dealing with impermanence?

Mindfulness teaches us to observe thoughts and emotions as temporary events, reducing suffering and reactivity.

Image: Freepik

Marcel Castilho

Marcel Castilho is an expert in neuromarketing, neuroscience, mindfulness and positive psychology. In addition to being an advertiser, he also has a Master's degree in NLP – Neurolinguistic Programming. As the owner and founder of the communications agency VeroCom and also of the digital agency Vero Contents, he has been studying human behavior for over 30 years.