Rapport: what it is and how to use it in everyday life

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The term "rapport" is often mentioned in contexts related to communication, sales, and interpersonal relationships. But what exactly is the rapport and how can we apply it in our daily lives in an effective, empathetic and scientifically based way?
In this article, we will explore the meaning of rapport, its origins, its pillars, and how to use it strategically in various contexts: in sales, in the workplace, and in personal relationships. All of this is based on Positive Psychology, NLP, Mindfulness, and Neuroscience.
What is it rapport
Report is a state of harmony, empathy and connection between people. Therefore, when there is rapport, communication flows naturally, there is mutual respect, active listening and a feeling of emotional security that allows for meaningful exchanges.
“Rapport is the ability to enter into another person’s world, making them feel understood and safe to open up.”
From the point of view of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), rapport is the foundation of any successful interaction. Furthermore, neuroscience studies indicate that the human social brain responds positively when it identifies behaviors of empathy, active listening, and congruence.
Origin of rapport
The word “rapport” has its origins in the French language and means “relationship” or “connection”. The origin of the term dates back to France, where “rapport” is used to describe the bond or connection established between people.
Above all, the concept of “rapport” has become widely recognized and used in psychology, therapy, negotiation, sales, and many other fields because of its importance in creating effective interpersonal relationships.
Introduced by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, founders of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), the ability to establish a rapport solid is essential for effective communication and developing positive relationships, both on a personal and professional level. This is why the term rapport It is widely used and valued in many areas of life.
The 3 pillars of rapport
To establish rapport effectively, it is important to consider some key elements:
- Mirroring: Adapting your body language, posture, tone of voice, and pace of speech to the other person's characteristics. When done subtly and naturally, it creates unconscious rapport.
- Active listening: More than listening, it's about paying full attention to what the other person is saying, with genuine interest and without interrupting. In this way, mindfulness comes in as a powerful differentiator.
- Authentic empathy: Feeling with the other, validating their emotions, and demonstrating sincere understanding. In this sense, positive psychology points to empathy as one of the pillars of relational well-being.
“The three pillars of rapport are: subtle mirroring of nonverbal language, active listening with full presence, and genuine empathy that validates emotions and builds trust.”
Report in sales: the key to connecting with the customer
In the sales context, the rapport plays a crucial role. Therefore, when salespeople can build a trusting relationship with customers, the chances of closing deals increase significantly. Some tips for using rapport in sales:
Show genuine interest:
Show genuine interest in your customers. Ask open-ended questions about their interests, needs, and concerns. Also, listen carefully to their answers and show empathy.
Find common interests:
Try to discover shared interests. After all, if you have hobbies, common values or experiences, mention this to establish a deeper connection.
Communicate effectively:
Adjust your communication to the client's style. Some clients may prefer a more formal approach, while others may enjoy relaxed conversations. Therefore, adapt to build a rapport more solid.
Be aware of body language:
Observe the client's body language and adjust your own accordingly. This includes maintaining eye contact, using gestures that match the client's, and adapting your posture. This is the cornerstone of mirroring, which helps you build rapport with the other person.
Be authentic:
While it's important to tailor your communication to the client, always be authentic. After all, not only is it wrong to fake it, but clients can sense when someone is being disingenuous. So, show your genuine self and build a relationship of trust.
Solve problems:
Show that you're willing to help customers solve their problems and meet their needs. Focus on how your product or service can benefit them.
Follow the client:
After you make a sale, continue to build the rapport Follow up with the customer. This way, check if they are satisfied with their purchase and if they have any questions or concerns.
Remember the details:
Write down important information about customers, such as their names, preferences, and purchase history. Above all, this will demonstrate that you value the relationship and care about them as individuals.
Be patient:
Build a rapport Building a solid relationship can take time. So, don't rush to close a sale. Instead, focus on building a lasting relationship, and successful sales will follow naturally.
Practice empathy:
Try to put yourself in the customer’s shoes and understand their needs and concerns. This will show that you care about what they are going through.
Rapport in the workplace: productivity and harmony
In the workplace, the rapport is essential for building healthy and productive relationships with colleagues and superiors. Here are some ways to apply the rapport in professional life:
Show respect:
Treat your colleagues, superiors and subordinates with respect and courtesy. Show that you value their opinions and contributions, regardless of their position in the hierarchy.
Listen actively:
Likewise, practice active listening, paying full attention to what your colleagues are saying. Above all, show that you're genuinely interested in understanding their perspectives and needs.
Be open to collaboration:
Be willing to collaborate with others. Show a willingness to share knowledge and work as a team to achieve common goals.
Offer help:
When your colleagues face challenges or need support, be willing to offer help. This builds trust and strengthens relationships.
Communicate effectively:
Adapt your communication to your audience. Use language and communication style that are appropriate for the situation and your colleagues’ preferences.
Keep commitments:
Meet your commitments and deadlines. After all, this demonstrates reliability and responsibility, which are essential for building a successful business. rapport.
Remember personal details:
Write down and remember personal details about your colleagues, such as birthdays, interests, and accomplishments. This shows that you care about them as individuals.
Accept feedback:
Be open to receiving feedback constructive and use it to improve. This shows that you value other people's opinions and are willing to grow professionally.
Keep calm under pressure:
In stressful situations, remain calm and composed. This inspires confidence and, most importantly, shows that you can handle challenges effectively.
Resolve conflicts constructively:
Instead of avoiding conflict, approach it constructively. Be willing to listen to all parties involved and seek solutions that are beneficial to everyone.
Be transparent:
Share information transparently when appropriate. Build trust upfront and avoid misunderstandings.
Create a positive environment:
Maintain a positive attitude and promote a healthy work environment. Above all, positively influence the morale and productivity of your entire team.
Report in personal relationships: the bridge to deep connections
In personal relationships, the rapport is the foundation for strong, healthy connections. Here are some tips for applying it in your everyday life:
Be authentic:
Be yourself at all times. Therefore, don't try to be someone you're not to please others. After all, authenticity is the foundation of genuine relationships. Therefore, all the tips below should always be accompanied by authenticity.
Show genuine interest and be present:
Show genuine interest in the people around you. Ask questions about their lives, interests, and feelings, and listen carefully to their answers. And when you are in someone’s presence, avoid distractions and give your full attention to the conversation or interaction.
Practice empathy:
Try to understand other people's feelings and perspectives. So put yourself in their shoes and show understanding for their experiences.
Communicate effectively:
Adapt your communication style to that of your interlocutors. This can include the way you speak, your body language, and your tone of voice.
Share stories and experiences:
Sharing your own stories and experiences can create deeper connections. Personal narratives can bring people closer together.
Be present:
Maintain regular contact with friends and family. Calling, texting, or meeting in person helps strengthen bonds. Initially, if you don't prioritize your personal relationships, you won't be present in your loved ones' lives.
Be a part of:
Be willing to help and support your friends and family when they need it. Be a listening ear and offer practical assistance when appropriate. Be a part of the lives of those who care about you on important dates and milestones.
Respect limits:
Be aware of other people's boundaries and respect their needs and desires. Respecting boundaries is essential to building healthy relationships.
Resolve conflicts constructively:
In conflicts, approach the situation constructively, seeking solutions that are fair to both parties. Avoid unnecessary confrontations.
Show gratitude and be patient:
Express gratitude for having special people in your life. Saying “thank you” and showing appreciation strengthens relationships.
Building strong relationships takes time, so don’t expect intimacy and trust to develop quickly.
“Rapport is essential in communication because it creates a space of trust, empathy, and emotional connection, which facilitates the exchange of ideas, active listening, and genuine connection between people.”
In short…
THE rapport is a valuable skill that can be used in many areas of our lives, from sales to personal and professional relationships. By building relationships based on trust, empathy, and understanding, we can significantly improve our communication and create meaningful connections with others. Remember to practice rapport regularly, adapting it to different situations, and you will reap the benefits of more positive and effective relationships in your daily life.
FAQ – Frequently asked questions about rapport
1. What does it mean? rapport?
Report It is a state of empathy and harmony between two people, facilitating communication, trust and emotional connection.
2. How to develop rapport with someone I just met?
Start by listening carefully, showing genuine interest, and adapting your communication to the other person's style.
3. Report can it be learned?
Yes. Through practices such as active listening, empathy, mindfulness, and NLP, anyone can develop this skill.
4. There is rapport false?
Yes. When it is forced or manipulative, the rapport doesn't generate real connection. The key is authenticity.
5. As the rapport affect my professional life?
It improves collaboration, reduces conflict, strengthens leadership, and enhances positive influence on teams and customers.
Image: Freepik modified
Article originally published on 11/03/2023 and updated on that date.

Marcel Castilho is an expert in neuromarketing, neuroscience, mindfulness and positive psychology. In addition to being an advertiser, he also has a Master's degree in NLP – Neurolinguistic Programming. As the owner and founder of the communications agency VeroCom and also of the digital agency Vero Contents, he has been studying human behavior for over 30 years.