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Imagine having access to a secret code that allows you to unlock the mysteries of human communication. This code is the language metamodel, a powerful tool of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) that allows you to understand how people construct their reality through language.

In this article, we will embark on a fascinating journey to unravel the secrets of the meta model, exploring its origins, its pillars and its practical applications to improve communication in all areas of your life.

What is NLP?

Before we dive into the language metamodel, it is important to understand the context in which it is inserted: Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP. NLP is a set of techniques and concepts that aim to understand and model the thought, behavior and language patterns of successful people. As such, it offers powerful tools to promote positive changes, both personally and professionally.

Language metamodel

Within the NLP framework, the language metamodel is one of the most fundamental tools. It was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970s and aims to identify and correct distortions, generalizations and omissions in language, helping to bring clarity and precision to the communication process.

Restricted language and reality filters

One of the underlying premises of the language metamodel is that the language we use shapes our perception of reality. Thus, each word we choose carries with it an emotional charge and a series of associations that influence our understanding of the world around us.

Furthermore, the metamodel recognizes that language has inherent limitations. Thus, we cannot capture the full complexity of human experience in words, which inevitably leads to simplifications, generalizations, and distortions.

Structure of the language metamodel

The language metamodel identifies three main types of distortions in human communication: omissions, distortions, and generalizations.

Omissions

Omissions (in some cases also described as “deletions”) occur when we leave out important information, leaving gaps in our communication. For example, when we say “I'm angry”, we are omitting the specific behaviors that lead us to this conclusion. Ex. Anger at whom? Anger at what?

Distortions

Distortions refer to distorted interpretations of reality. This can happen when we attribute intentions to other people without clear evidence or when we exaggerate situations, distorting the truth. An example: “My client didn’t like the planning I did”. It may even be true, but if you are assuming without asking the customer, there is no way to know.

Generalizations

Generalizations are simplifications we make based on particular experiences, making them absolute truths. For example, when we say “Nobody likes me”, we are generalizing based on a few negative experiences, without considering all possible interactions.

Limiting patterns in the world model

Modal Operators: Unraveling the Mind's Filters

Modal operators are words that express necessity, possibility or impossibility. They function as filters that influence the way we interpret the world.

Necessity: the tyranny of “must”

Necessity is a modal operator that indicates that something is mandatory or necessary. For example, “I must study for the exam.”

Excessive use of necessity can generate rigidity and frustration, as it puts us in a position of constant demand.

Possibility: opening doors to the new

Possibility indicates that something is possible, but not necessarily certain. For example, “I can study for the exam.”

Possibility allows us to explore different options and find creative solutions to problems.

Possibility and necessity: the dance of optionals

It is important to find a balance between necessity and possibility. By using both modal operators consciously, we can:

• Be more flexible: Adapt to different situations and find creative solutions.
• Avoid frustration: Reduce excessive demands and have more realistic expectations.
• Stay motivated: Stay focused on your goals, even when faced with challenges.

Mind Reading: Dangerous Shortcuts in Communication

Mind reading is the habit of assuming what others think or feel without having any real evidence. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.

Filters: the selective perception of reality

 

Mental filters are the criteria we use to select which information will be processed by our brain. This can lead to a distorted view of reality.

Cause and effect: unraveling the relationships of influence

It is important to be careful when establishing cause and effect relationships between events. Just because one event precedes another does not always mean it is the cause of the second.

Practical examples of application of the language metamodel

Identification of assumptions

One way to apply the language metamodel is to identify the underlying assumptions in a statement. For example, if someone says “I can never do anything right”, we can ask what specific experiences led to this generalization. Thus, we can ask: “Never? Has there ever been a situation where you managed to do something right?”

Clarification of vague language

Another application of the metamodel is to clarify vague language. If someone says “I feel bad”, we can ask “In what specific ways do you feel bad?” to get more details and better understand the situation.

Deconstruction of generalizations

We can also use the metamodel to deconstruct generalizations. If someone says “All politicians are corrupt”, we can ask “Do you know all the politicians in the world to make that statement?” to challenge generalization.

Benefits of using the language metamodel

Better communication

By identifying and correcting distortions in language, we can improve our communication, making it clearer and more precise. This way, we avoid ambiguities and ensure that our message is well interpreted.

Deepening understanding

The language metamodel helps us deepen our understanding of other people's thoughts and feelings, fostering greater empathy and interpersonal connection.

Conflict resolution

By clearing up misunderstandings and promoting more effective communication, the language metamodel can help resolve conflicts and build healthier relationships.

Be more persuasive

Understanding the metamodel helps us positively influence people, achieving our goals more easily.

Exercises to develop skills with the language metamodel

Observation of linguistic patterns

Practice observing linguistic patterns in everyday conversations, identifying deletions, distortions, and generalizations.

Reflective questioning practice

Try asking reflective questions to clarify vague statements or broad generalizations, helping to bring more clarity and precision to communication.

Dialogue simulations

Simulate dialogues using the language metamodel, practicing how to identify and correct distortions in communication.

In short…

The language metamodel is a powerful tool for improving communication and fostering greater interpersonal understanding. By identifying and correcting language distortions, we can make our conversations clearer, more accurate, and more meaningful.

So, with practice and dedication, we can improve our communication skills and build healthier, more rewarding relationships in all areas of our lives. So, how about starting to practice using the language metamodel today?

Image: Freepik